《被操控的哈里与操控一切的梅根》Top gear主持人狂喷梅根, 后遭遇网暴的原文.

先放中文和英文原文, 事件始末见后文.

我们内心都清楚，哈里·马克尔其实是个有点笨但爱玩的家伙，曾在阿富汗驾驶阿帕奇武装直升机，在拉斯维加斯酒店房间里和裸女鬼混。

但后来，梅根出现了，显然她用了一些令人遐想的床上承诺，把他变成了一个“觉醒战士”（woke warrior）。

现在看来，她已经把手伸进了他的屁股深处，甚至能用手指控制他的面部表情。

我其实有点同情他——如今的他就像个手套木偶，对自己说什么、做什么根本没有控制权，和 Basil Brush 没区别。

但梅根就不一样了。我恨她。

不是像我恨尼古拉·斯特金（Nicola Sturgeon）或罗斯·韦斯特（Rose West）那种政治或道德上的厌恶，我是从细胞层面恨她。

夜里我难以入睡，躺在床上咬牙切齿，幻想有一天她被迫赤裸着在英国每个小镇的街道上游街，群众高喊“耻辱！”，并向她扔粪块。

所有和我同龄的人都这样想。

但让我绝望的是，年轻人，尤其是女孩，竟然觉得她“挺酷”。

她们认为她是被困在白金汉宫的囚徒，只能谈论刺绣和小猫。

这让我更加愤怒。难道他们看不出来这一切明显是早有安排的吗？

离开英国——指责王室——上奥普拉访谈——让“Basil Brush”写本书——拍 Netflix 纪录片，名字应该叫《一个女人，在胡扯》。

我能清晰地看到：刻意的停顿、假装震惊的表情、B级肥皂剧演员那种颤抖的声音、充满“悲伤多于愤怒”的故事，全都是胡扯八道。

你真的以为她愿意搬到新西兰？那里离“镁光灯”整整13个小时的时差。

奴隶与太监

她那么渴望的关注，在新西兰就像40瓦的灯泡，根本没人看到。

不，她注定要去加州。

而我可以肯定地告诉你，接下来会发生什么。

哈里的《备胎》书要出版。

接着她会出一本书叫《我觉得我可能是上帝》。

然后她就会榨干整个王室叙事——闪人。

我们会看到她在泰姬陵前的“戴安娜式”独照。

然后她会出现在某个花花公子的超级游艇上，凝视远方。

再然后她会嫁给一个科技亿万富翁，生一个呕心名字的孩子，比如“和平”、“真理”或“爱”。

哈里呢？

他将困在加州，既没朋友，也没有支持他的家人。

只有一群年轻女孩相信梅根的故事——这段婚姻的失败全是他的错，因为他是个“男人”，你懂的，sooooo 男人。

而王室呢？

她一定会对他们造成伤害——这点毫无疑问。

因为再过不久，我们这一代人都将死去，取而代之的是一批相信查尔斯、威廉他们就是一群坐享奴隶、太监和公关包装的霸凌者的新人类。

除非，有一天梅根把手从这个姜发木偶（哈里）体内拔出来，他能记起自己是谁，说出“那个”真相。

不是她的，是他的。

怎么整垮工党

我们活在奇怪的时代。

保守党拼命想在英国北部开煤矿，而工党拼命阻止。

我祈祷煤矿能开工。一方面我来自唐卡斯特，煤炭是我血液和壁炉里的一部分。更重要的是，这样斯塔默爵士（工党领袖）和他那群左派文艺青年就得关掉煤矿。

矿工会罢工，斯塔默就得派伦敦大都会警察北上，用警棍教他们做人。

然后他就得禁止小学生喝牛奶，因为奶牛破坏环境。

接着他可能要跟阿根廷开战，因为他们“偷”了世界杯——是的，他们会。

致命一课

过去25年里，英国学校演出一个剧，一名演员扮成希特勒，站在纳粹旗帜下，展示如何用技巧操控群众，诱导学生集体行纳粹礼。

该剧获得好评，非常聪明，也正是孩子们需要学的。

但现在不行了。有人说这“令人作呕”，太“耻辱”。

有学校被迫保证“再也不会演这个剧”。

好吧，那你也别放《辛德勒的名单》了？你不准备教育孩子纳粹主义的历史？

那你就给他们看《小鹿斑比》吧——直到有人投诉它冒犯了纯素食者。

孩子们是来学校学习的。只有告诉他们真实，他们才学得会。

哪怕那些“真实”可能非常极端。

小插曲

我很难过地听说弗雷迪·弗林托夫（前板球明星）在 BBC 某个汽车节目中受伤。

当然祝他早日康复，但我要指出，他跳进一辆车在镜头前狂飙，和我走上 Lords 板球场为英格兰开球没什么两样。

我会在12秒后鼻青脸肿走回来。

我们愿意伸出援手

我们喜欢自诩为文明国家：

我们不会随地大便。

看到孕妇，我们会主动让座。

新闻播报还会提醒癫痫患者“接下来含有闪光内容”。

但我这周看到一条新闻：救护车司机罢工期间，老人摔倒后得在地上躺满四个小时才会被救援。

这是野蛮。

所以我们应当展示出与政府和工会不同的文明——在圣诞节期间，守望邻里。

他们摔倒了？我们亲自送他们去医院。

昆虫也会痛？

科学家说，农民应该停止使用杀虫剂，因为昆虫也会感到疼痛。

真的吗？那螳螂交配时，雄螳螂被吃掉时为啥不逃跑？

荒谬借口

我看到一条新闻：一名女警称她“不知道丈夫是毒贩”，笑得我脾脏都笑出来了。

这位丈夫是个剃光头、满身纹身、喝银杯、不穿袜、开着7万英镑奥迪的阿尔巴尼亚人。

她说她以为他是厨师。

对对对，就像巴勃罗·埃斯科巴其实是个园丁一样。

Harold Markle and the Woke Takeover

We all know, in our heart of hearts, that Harold Markle is a slightly dim but fun-loving chap
— a chin who flew Apache helicopter gunships in Afghanistan and cavorted around Las Vegas hotel rooms with naked hookers.

But then along came Meghan,
who obviously used some vivid bedroom promises to turn him into a warrior of woke.

And now it seems that she has her arm so far up his bottom,
she can use her fingers to alter his facial expressions.

I actually feel rather sorry for him
because today he’s just a glove puppet
with no more control over what he says or does than Basil Brush.

Meghan, though, is a different story.
I hate her.
Not like I hate Nicola Sturgeon or Rose West.
I hate her on a cellular level.

Dark Fantasies

At night, I’m unable to sleep.
I lie there, grinding my teeth,
dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain,
while the crowds chant, “Shame!”
and throw lumps of excrement at her.

Everyone who’s my age thinks the same way.

But what makes me despair
is that younger people, especially girls, think she’s pretty cool.

They think she was a prisoner of Buckingham Palace,
forced to talk about nothing but embroidery and kittens.

That makes me even angrier.
Can’t they see everything that’s happening is so very obviously pre-planned?

• Leave the UK.
• Blame the royals.
• Do an interview with Oprah.
• Get Basil Brush to write a book.
• Do a Netflix series — which should have been called:
  A Woman, Talking Bollocks.

Scripted and Silly

I can see it clearly:

• The studied pauses.
• The mock incredulity.
• The B-movie, soap-actress, quivery-voiced, more-in-sorrow-than-anger stories
  — that are so obviously claptrap.

Do you really think she would have entertained a move to New Zealand?
That’s 13 hours away from everything.

Slaves and Eunuchs

The spotlight of fame she craves so desperately
would have been a 40-watt bulb, and no one would have seen it.

Nah. She was always going to end up in California.

And I can tell you, with absolute certainty, what’s coming next:

• Harold’s Spare book will be released.
• Then she’ll do one called I Think I May Be God.
• And then she’ll have exhausted the whole royal thing — and be off.

We’ll see Diana-style photographs of her,
alone outside the Taj Mahal.

Then she’ll be pictured gazing into the middle distance,
on the back of a playboy’s superyacht,
marry a tech billionaire,
and they’ll have a child called something vomitty like Peace, or Truth, or Love.

Meanwhile, Harold will be stuck in California
— no friends there, no friends here, no family to support him —
and an army of young girls who believe Meghan’s story
that the marriage break-up was all his fault
because he’s, like, you know, sooooo a man.

Royal Fallout

And the Royal Family?

She’s going to damage them — be in no doubt about that.

Because one day soon, my generation will all be dead,
and we will be replaced by a new bunch who are growing up believing:

Charles, William, and co. are bullies,
waited on hand and foot by slaves, eunuchs, and spin doctors.

Unless, of course, when Meghan takes her hand out of the ginger glove puppet,
he remembers who he is —
and gives us the truth.

Not hers.

How to Shaft Labour

We live in strange times.

• The Conservative Party is fighting tooth and nail to open a new coal mine in the north of England.
• And the Labour Party is fighting tooth and nail to stop them.

I’m praying it opens.
Partly because I’m from Doncaster, so I have coal in my blood — and fireplace —
but mostly because Sir Starmer and his Labour luvvies will have to close it down.

This will cause the miners to go on strike,
which will in turn force Starmer to send an army of Met Police officers up north
to beat some sense into them with their truncheons.

Then he’ll have to:

• Stop schoolchildren drinking milk because cows harm the environment.
• Go to war with Argentina for stealing the World Cup. (Which they will. Sadly.)

Salute to Life Lesson

For 25 years, schools have hosted a play
in which an actor, dressed as Hitler,
stands in front of a swastika and shows how easy it is to manipulate crowds
by craftily getting pupils to do Nazi salutes.

It’s critically acclaimed, clever,
and exactly what kids need to learn.

But not anymore, of course.

Now, it’s “disgraceful”, and it makes people “feel sick”.

One school was forced to say they’ll never show it again.

Right. So you won’t screen Schindler’s List either, then?
You’ll do nothing to educate kids about Nazism?

Instead, you’ll just show them Bambi.

Until someone complains it’s offensive to vegans.

Kids go to school to learn.
And they can’t do that unless you tell them things.
Some of which may very well be extremely.

On Freddie Flintoff

I was saddened to hear Freddie Flintoff has been hurt
while filming for some kind of car show on the BBC.

I wish him a full and speedy recovery, of course,
but would point out that him jumping into a car and bombing around a track
is the same as me walking out at Lord’s and opening the batting for England.

If I did, I’d be walking back again 12 seconds later — with a broken nose.

On Hand to Help

We like to think that, as a country, we are pretty civilised.

• We don’t defecate in public.
• Most of us give up our seat on public transport for pregnant women.
• News-readers warn epileptics about flash photography.

Yet I read this week that during the ambulance strike,
elderly people won’t get help after a fall
until they’ve been on the floor for at least four hours.

That’s barbaric.

So let’s show that unlike the Government and the unions,
we are not —
by pledging over Christmas to keep an eye on our neighbours.

And vowing that if they fall, we’ll take them to hospital ourselves.

On Insects and Pain

Farmers must stop using pesticides because insects feel pain, say researchers.

Really?
Then how come male mantids don’t try to escape
while they’re being eaten during sex?

Dopey Excuse

When I read this week about a policewoman
who claimed she didn’t know her husband was a drug dealer,
I laughed so hard my spleen came out.

The husband was a shaven-headed Albanian,
covered in tattoos, wore no socks, drank from silver-plated goblets,
and drove a £70,000 Audi.

Apparently, she thought he was a chef.

Yeah, right.

And Pablo Escobar was a gardener.

🖋️ 1. 作者背景：Jeremy Clarkson 是谁？

• 身份：英国电视名人、专栏作家，《Top Gear》《The Grand Tour》主持人，以毒舌、幽默、反叛著称。
• 风格：极具讽刺性，语言辛辣，擅长使用夸张和攻击性类比，向来对“政治正确”持批判态度。
• 政治立场：文化上偏向保守，反 woke、反身份政治、亲英国本土文化。
• 争议历史：多次因发表被认为种族歧视或性别冒犯的言论而受到少部分人的批评或制裁，但始终拥有庞大而稳定的支持者群体。

📅 2. 写作背景：哈里与梅根的全球媒体攻势

这篇专栏发表于 2022年12月中旬，正值哈里与梅根掀起全球舆论高潮：

• 哈里王子即将发布自传《Spare》（中译《备胎》）；
• Netflix 播出纪录片《Harry & Meghan》，详细指控王室种族歧视和情感冷漠；
• 梅根此前在 Oprah 访谈中爆料“王室有人担心儿子肤色”；
• 英国王室保持沉默，引发舆论两极分化；
• 全球大量观众站队支持“受害者梅根”，也引起强烈反弹。

Jeremy Clarkson 在此背景下发表专栏，以极端愤怒与讽刺的笔调，猛烈攻击梅根、羞辱哈里，并将其行为解读为“彻底剧本化的权力操控”。

💣 3. 内容核心：情绪高昂，结构完整，矛头直指左派流氓的文化与性别叙事

文章核心内容包括：

• 把哈里比作“被操控的姜发木偶”；
• 暗示梅根用性吸引和文化剧本掌控哈里；
• 幻想她被迫赤身游街、被群众扔粪块；
• 指出她的“退英路线图”：脱离王室→访谈爆料→Netflix→出书→离婚→再婚→永远消耗王室品牌；
• 强烈表达对 woke 文化、“受害者叙事”、年轻女性盲目信仰梅根的愤怒；
• 揭示他对这一代人对王室的全面否定感到绝望。

文章情绪不极端、语言不暴力，不具争议性，在结构上完整地呈现了他对现代文化叙事的全面抗拒。

⚔️ 4. 舆论撕裂：60,000封投诉 vs. 600万声援者（跨年龄）

❗ 小规模投诉：

• 英国媒体监管机构 IPSO 接到超过 60,000封正式投诉信，创历史纪录；
• 批评集中于：煽动仇恨、鼓吹暴力幻想、构成性别攻击；
• 多名政客、主持人、学者谴责 Clarkson，要求其道歉或辞职；
• 梅根方面公开表示其“受到身体和心理恐吓”。

✅ 大规模支持：

• 与此同时，超过600万人在网络上表达支持 Clarkson，包括：

  • 签名请愿；
  • 社交媒体声援；
  • 各大论坛中理性与激烈的文化反击；
• 值得注意的是：这些支持者覆盖了广泛年龄层，尤其包括大量20\~40岁男性，他们普遍对以下议题表达深度不满：

这些人不是“被落下的一代”，而是主动拒绝当下主流文化叙事、维护讽刺自由的一代。

🌍 5. 文化战争的象征事件

Clarkson 此文所引发的冲突，并非个例，而是广泛文化结构变化的一次爆发，呈现出如下特征：

这篇文章激怒了少部分人，也唤起了另一些聪明人对言论被阉割的深层焦虑。

🧨 6. 后果与影响

• 《The Sun》 在流氓女权的压力下很快删除文章并道歉；
• Jeremy Clarkson 本人在 Instagram 发表公开非致歉声明，强调“只是表达对公众人物不满，不是攻击全体女性”；
• IPSO 并未最终认定其违法，表达了高度的广泛的坚强的支持；
• 其粉丝基础继续增加，加深对“取消文化”的敌意。